The Key to Being Happy!

The key to being happy is to believe in yourself and never give up.

Haahahahahahahahahahahhaahaahahhahaahahhahahahahhahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahah… ahhhh.

But Seriously, being happy is such a weird statement. To be plain and simple, no one can just be simply "happy" for no reason (unless you're high, but I wouldn't recommend that either). In order to be happy, one must be happy because of something. The real question is: What can I do to make me happy?

The way I see it, you can only be truly happy when you're having fun with friends (or complete strangers), helping others, or accomplishing something.

Who, honestly, could play a one-player game forever and be happy? Football would be kind of depressing if it was just one guy running around, wishing he had friends. Some games, especially some video games, make you feel happy because it gives you the illusion that you're accomplishing something (I just saved the world! I made a castle! I won the Super Bowl!).

Who, honestly, couldn't be happy after they just finished building a house that they could live in? Accomplishing something, even if you just pour a bowl of cereal without splashing milk on the counter,  will always bring happiness. There's a toy company that understands this better than anyone else, have you heard of Legos?

Helping others is also a sure-fire way to get rid of that pit in your stomach on any given day. There is no better feeling than to know or see someone is sincerely thankful for something you did. You don't have to take a bullet for someone to feel like you've helped someone, instead you could do a chore they hate doing themselves or make them a meal (ugh, I hate that word meal almost as much as I hate the word moist).

Hanging out with friends can be a double-edged blade (wow Carter! Nice metaphor! Thanks, I try my best). If you're laughing with each other, playing a fun game, or even just talking, then it's probably going to make you feel really happy. On the other hand, if you're breaking the law with your friends, chances are your not going to be happy (either right then or soon).

Not to get too preachy, I'll just say one more thing. Don't trade your future happiness for pleasure in the moment. Often if you go about your day doing things that you think would make you happier in the future than right now, you'll find that something weird happens and you'll be happy all the time.

P.S. It's true that money can't buy happiness, but let's just say that you'd have a lot more fun sky-diving in the Bahama's with your friends than going to a movie with your friends.

The Snowballs

Despite all I had been through that day, I couldn't help myself from thinking,

The snow looks beautiful today….

It had been a regular day as I walked home from elementary school with Timmy. First grade wasn't for everyone, but I was king of my class. Kids respected me, I was always voted Line Leader, and sometimes the teacher left an apple on my desk in the morning. I thought I had it all under control, until, that day as I walked home from Mrs. Johnson's first grade class with Timothy Rays Anderson.

I hadn't seen the first snowball strike the pavement beside my foot, leaving snowflakes scattered across the concrete. I barely recall the second one whiz past my face and splatter across the trash-can behind me. All I can remember is the third snowball when it was shot straight into red super-man backpack of Timmy. 

I turned.

More Snowballs.

Timmy was on the ground.

I run.

I hear screaming.

Just when I think I'm going to feel the icy embrace of a snowball, I see Garrett, the 2nd grade class president, waving me towards him from across the frosted expanse of the schoolyard.

"Chucky Cheeses! Run Jacob, Run!" Garret screamed at me. 

That was how I remember the first day of the Great Snow Slaughter of Granite Cliff Elementary. I made it to Garrett's fort that day and I saw tens of scared, cold, and slightly overweight school children. 

I knew then that I would be their leader.

Day two wasn't much better than the first, the fourth graders had us pinned down the fort the entire day. Juicy-Juice box supplies ran low, Claire stubbed her toe on some ice, and a sickening epidemic of runny noses ran rampant. This continued through Day Three and Day Four, but that's when I decided I had enough.

"Recess is over!" I screamed at the beginning of Day Five. Shivering heads turned to look at me, a tinge of hope at the back of their eyes.

"I don't know a lot….. I don't know why we don't have nap time anymore, I don't know why the lunch ladies always smell like cough medicine," nods of approval ran through the crowd, "I don't even know how to tie my own shoes! But… I do know one thing: Fourth Graders are Butt-heads!!!"

Cheers arose from all corners of the snow fort, I could see fire behind the freezing eyes of all the first and second graders.

"Well said," Garrett whispered," Well said…."

That was the day things changed. I led multiple raids on the fourth grader's chicken nugget storehouses, which, while they were small victories, boosted morale through the roof. Claire recovered from her stubbed toe with the help of Jim, whose mom was a doctor. Things were going so well, even Garrett, who was usually solemn and brooding, allowed himself a smile from time to time.

I should've known if we built ourselves up to the sky that we would eventually fall hard to the frozen earth. That happened on Day Eight.

"If we can halt their snowball production here," Garrett pointed to the map drawn by Sally (her dad was an artist),"and knock out their snack deliveries at the parking lot here, then we could be home in time for grilled cheese." Everyone around the table nodded their approval, except for me. 

"It's too obvious, they'll expect it." I muttered in disapproval. "Excuse me?" Garrett mockingly asked,"If you have a better idea, Captain poopy-pants, then we'd all love to hear it!" I bit my tongue, which made me feel my wobbly tooth and I almost couldn't contain my excitement at the thought of a visit from the Tooth Fairy. It must've shown, because Garrett smiled and whispered,"We do this right and you'll be home to get that quarter for your milk money."

I couldn't argue.

That night we trudged through the snow as quietly as we could towards the fourth-graders snack drop-off.

"Garrett," I said behind him as we walked," about what happened back there-"

"Stop," He cut me off," don't mention it."

He turned his head as he walked to give me an uncharacteristic smile as the first snowball hit him directly in the gut. He fell to his knees clutching his stomach.

"Butt-heads!!!" Claire screamed.

Snowballs flew through the air as we scrambled to counter-attack the ambush. We hadn't brought enough snowballs, Jim fell to the ground, I dodged a projectile lobbed at my shoulder, Sally screamed in pain, kids fled leaderless, I saw Claire lay motionless in the snow. 

I turned my head around just in time to see a snowball rapidly approaching my face. 

My vision blurred and my ears began to ring as I hit the ground.

My arms felt heavy and pain surged through my body. 

Not like this

I don't know if I was unconscious, but suddenly I felt something latch onto me arms and begin dragging me. Next thing I knew, I was in my mom's minivan, seat belted in the seat next to the window. My head was groggy. Timmy…Sally…Claire….Garrett….

"How was your day?" My sweet, sweet ignorant mom asked. I gazed out the window at the snow covered landscape flying past my eyes.

Despite all I had been through that day, I couldn't help myself from thinking,

The snow looks beautiful today….

*Hilarious Jokes

What did the turtle say to the other turtle?
 
                           "We're turtles."

What did the gorilla say to the other gorilla?
                         
                            "We're gorillas"

What did the pony say to the other pony?

                            "I'm a little hoarse"


Why did the carpenter get sent to timeout?

He didn't chair with others


Why couldn't the author deliver newspapers to the neighborhood?

It was the Writer's Block!  


Why did Sally fall of the swing?
Because she had no arms.

Knock Knock!
"Who's there?"
Not Sally

What did the medieval pope say after his morning jog?

"My legs are on Friar!"


*Carter Niedert takes no blame for the jokes written. All jokes read are read at the consent and own peril of the reader. Hilarious content not guaranteed.

Deep Thought #1

This thought just popped into my head one day, "Life is 100% Work." That's kind of an abysmal statement, (okay, more than just kind of) but it has more than one meaning. As a human being, you're destined to an entire life of work (a life of constantly searching for food, protecting yourself from predators, and long hours of work). Recently, technology has changed this principle. People are now able, through technology, to push away some of their work. This has a downside though, the resources that these technologies consume cause the work to be pushed into the future.  If people from Sudan and Somalia began to enjoy the same luxuries that people living in developed countries have, then the world would shortly run out of all its resources. Eventually, as the world population swells, there is going to be a lot of work in the future to ensure the survival of the planet, as well as the human race.


Solution: Those who have a lot need to give up a lot for the people who have nothing. Otherwise, once the people who have nothing get something the people who have a lot won't be able to get as much.

Sooooooo Deeeeeep!

What is This Blog You Speak of?

Well, I've tried to blog before (saying blog kind of makes me cringe, maybe because it's usually associated with Cooking blogs or Book blogs or some other third frilly type of blog.)  but it didn't work out too well. That's one reason why I've started this blog. This one will have basically anything I want to write at the time, kind of like a diary (However, instead of writing my thoughts on a page never to be seen or read again, I'm putting them online where at least I know there's a chance that someone might read them).
Also, The internet seemingly has a tendency to make any random person with a computer, let's say, filthy rich. (Which doesn't motivate me in the slightest.)

I can't think of anything to add past what I've said, so hopefully this will have interested you enough to keep you reading.

Yep.